


For the Right Reasons?

by Triskellion



Series: NCIS Home Pack [39]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Episode: s04e19 Grace Period, F/M, M/M, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 01:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13423497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Triskellion/pseuds/Triskellion
Summary: Deaths of friends are traumatic events and traumatic events can be catalysts for change. But what kind of changes will Gibbs and Tony chose to make?





	For the Right Reasons?

Tony arrived at Gibbs’s house as the sun fell below the tree line. 

And sat in his car.

Gibbs wasn’t home. He might still be at the office. Might be over at Hollis Mann’s house. It would be easy enough to pick up the phone and find out. But Tony didn’t. He wasn’t sure he wanted the answer. Wasn’t sure what he’d do if Gibbs drove up right now, or five minutes from now, or hours from now.

_“You know, Tony, it's a cliché, but it is true. Life is too short not to tell someone you love them if you do... And you do.”_

Paula’s words had been echoing in his head since she’d said them. Though now they were accompanied by the sound of a brick wall slamming shut and a bomb exploding.

Oh, God. Paula. He couldn’t believe she’d done that. There had to have been a better way.

And yet… He couldn’t blame her. Couldn’t promise it wouldn’t have been him jumping through that opening if his team had been on call, had gotten the call, had ended up in that store with Yazeed Fahad’s body and a bomb.

Would it have been him? Probie? Ziva? Gibbs?

Tony wrenched his mind away from that train of thought before he threw up. He’d done it—twice—since the realization that it should have been them.

Should have been. But wasn’t. Somehow. They’d dodged that bullet and Paula hadn’t. And she sacrificed herself to save the rest of them when it turned out the gun had another load. Or bomb. Yeah, not the best analogy. This probably deserved a movie reference, but Tony had to admit his heart really wasn’t in it.

_“It's funny, I spent fifteen years looking for someone to fill Shannon's place by my side, married three women who looked like her, dated more, and never came close to getting it right.”_

Gibbs’ words echoing in his head, Tony took one more look at the suburban house he’d never belonged in and turned on the car. Life was too short. With Gibbs, they’d never needed to say it. But maybe that had been part of the problem. Too much unsaid. Tony wasn’t going to make that mistake again. Somehow he’d figure out a way to tell Jeanne everything, see where it got him.

Tonight, he’d start with three precious words he’d never said to anyone before.

~o0o~

Gibbs couldn’t sleep. Not with Paula’s death weighing on him( and Richards, and James). Not with the guilt churning in his gut because it should have been his team( except he finagled a weekend off for Hollis). Not in here in Hollis’s soft bed, everything he’d taken the weekend off for (left someone else to pay the price).

Not with the added twist to his guilt of relief that his team was whole and alive. But only thanks to his greed and Paula’s survivor’s guilt.

Gibbs left the bed and the bedroom in silence, feeling Hollis’s gaze boring into him and ignoring it. She’d already expressed her surprise he wasn’t in his basement. She’d understand. 

Or she wouldn’t. And he could let go the question of whether he was stringing her on.

That question brought on a whole new line of thought as he drove home (re-brought on. It’d been there the whole case). He’d never requested a weekend free for Tony, and only occasionally for his wives (girlfriends). And maybe that was part of why he’d lost them. But did that mean he cared for Hollis more than Tony? 

He didn’t consider the others in that. They’d been good people, but he’d been chasing Shannon’s memory rather than falling in love again. He’d thought that with Tony he’d finally broken that pattern. But then he’d confused Tony with Shannon (just as badly as Jenny and Diane, and what was his third ex-wife’s name) after the explosion. Was he just chasing Shannon with Tony and not realizing it because he’d gone for a shifter instead of a redhead?

Maybe Hollis really was the change in his pattern. Not a shifter. Not a redhead. A military background and law enforcement (or not since that last one was Tony and Jen too). She understood him in ways most other women in his life hadn’t (well, Tony). Or at least his love of the job (Jen had left him for the job...and Tony understood). No on understood the basement, the boats (except maybe Tony).

Torn a dozen directions, Gibbs raced home to the three B’s (boat, Bourbon, and basement). Maybe surrounded by the smell of sawdust he could relax, accept the was alive. His team was alive. (He wasn’t hoping Tony might be there. Really.)

As he made the turn to his block, he saw tail lights going away. Familiar tail lights. Mustang tail lights.

“Tony.”

Gibbs startles to hear his own voice. He hadn’t meant to say that aloud. And he was damned glad no one had been around to hear him sound that fucking heartbroken.

“Hope he’s going to her,” he whispered to himself as he retreated to his haven. Jeanne. She’d better treat Tony right. Better than Gibbs had.

Not that that’d be hard.


End file.
